Do not be unbelieving but believe!

Today's Gospel speaks about Thomas commonly called the Doubting Thomas, and as I was pondering on the Gospel, I was actually struck by this phrase mentioned by Our Lord Jesus,"Do not be unbelieving but believe."

Somehow as I reflect upon the message, I realized that sometimes I do not act on faith in Him above, I would do my own thing and would never resolve to prayer and ask for His guidance specially when I knew from the start that this thing that I'm about to do definitely will not get an affirmative response from Him, hence I would rather do my own thing. Sometimes also I would insist over it until on the final analysis it really did not work on my advantage. Actually I thread on taking another passage rather than take on the right road whom the Lord clearly shows me again my unbelief.

I seldom rely on His PROVIDENCE and guidance and I do well aware that in Him nothing is wrong and nothing is a failure but again my unbelief.

I'm actually more like Thomas in the Gospel, I really do love the Lord so much yet I lacked the courage to stand with Jesus specially on the things He would tell me is right for me, again my unbelief.

I do realize that having a relationship with the Lord, and allowing Him to work in me, it is actually when the Holy Spirit moves in me and actually alive and with the Holy Spirit around life seems so perfect, so trusting, so full of love, full of faith and so I believe.

I do am aware of the benefit not just benefit but heavenly benefit of having in constant attachment with the Lord above, the Holy Spirit when at work in me should take a lot of patience in reminding me of the things that are really important over things that are not...

Stubborn as I am, I can make things wrong right and right more right or worst right to wrong. At this point I realized that it actually work when I'm already about to commit sinful act or thought I would rather say the name of Jesus and invoke the power of the Holy Spirit to draw out the devil that is always lurking around in me and somehow giving him an easy job when it comes to my own faith.

Now I just have to simply teach myself to put my trust in the Lord, believe and Lord God please help or even cast out my unbelief!